Engineer's Bench Gives Pleasant Trembling Tingles: Work At Intel (INTC) Still Wish I Do!!!!

Froggie For Butt
Sex Toys & Circuit Design!
I <3 Intel!
Well, it's been a duration of time which has passed and Intel hasn't yet hired me, despite my strenuous efforts to convince the hiring managers (who I'm absolutely certain are reading my blog with breathless anticipation) that I'm destined to be a valuable asset.

I sought out further material to help my understanding evolve on this matter, and I believe it comes down to really knowing about the office environment Intel provides.

I want to work at Intel, because they're a company where employees can pursue their passions, support wold-changing initiatives, and thrive intellectually.  Intel honors the values of discipline, quality, and risk-taking.  It's what the company was built on.  Intel even proves it's not all about profit, by making sure to hire women, minorities, and people with disabilities, in addition to normal employees.

Music Vibrations
Innovative Design Allows
Music To Make Vibrations
I know they don't mention it explicitly, but I think I qualify to be in the 'other diverse groups' Intel rightfully is proud of employing, and I want to show I truly get what it takes to be a part of this beloved industry leader - this worldwide company with countless opportunities, providing a professional and diversity nurturing environment where I'm convinced I'd be welcomed.

As before, I've taken the liberty of uploading individual frames from this Intel video for the convenience of Intel hiring manager(s) and readers, as well as to relieve some of the burden on Youtube, who, being an up-and-coming company, likely doesn't need its growing infrastructure slammed by the immense amount of traffic my blog generates.

I'm still waiting by the phone, waiting for you to call me up, and tell me I'm not alone, Intel!  Hire me! Please! I'll even wear underwear under my pants!

Intel Headhunter Leaked Recruitment Video #2

Had Sucky Sucky Now Sick
Beautiful Blonde Women
Walk The Halls Inspired
To Pursue Careers In STEM!
On The Prowl
Un-Pretty Women
Stay Out Of Way To Not
Bring Attention And Break Motivation
Pretty Woman Showing What Wants
She Knows How Much
Knowledge Economy She Wants!

Highest Respect Intel Has For Female
Intel's Green Computing Initiative
Turns Off Women's Monitors To Keep
The Group's Debugging Momentum Going
Deeply Pondering Attention Focused
Uncontainable Enthusiasm And Innovation
Is The Lifeblood Of Intel
Brokeback Chip Mountain
Intel's Gay Cowboys
Stay With It™ and
Enjoy Pudding 
Intel Employee Acting Professionally 01
Quality Assurance
Engineer And
Cowboy Not
Mutually Exclusive!

Stick it Right Here
Anticipating What
Will Need To Be
Provided For Growing

Yeah, More Thrusting
Always Transform
Positivity Forward
Do Not Allow
The Negativity

Ready For Manager Meeting
Bent Over
Position Great
Strategy For

It's All Possible
At Intel!

Diligent Working
A Fit Tush Is The Foundation
For Success In This Knowledge Economy
And To Pursue Passions

Orgy 1
Experienced Executives Serve As
Role Models
Orgy 2
Employees Are Encouraged To
Speak Up And Expect A Timely
Orgy 3 - Hot Sauce
Which Will Be First To Celebrate
A Unique Point Of View?

Respectful Of Women
Not Just Everyone
Can Be A Cherished
Female Employee

Engineer Retention Rates Increase
Ready To Receive Rewards And Recognition For Further
Development And Retain Strategic Initiatives

Intel Buttplug Feels Good
Now She Must Retrieve
The Green Frog
Which Has Now Become
The Brown Frog

No comments: